As a professional matchmaker, I spend a lot of time observing people. Not in a creepy way, of course. However, after years of helping single men and women navigate dating in Los Angeles, certain behavioral patterns become impossible to ignore.

In fact, some people seem to attract great relationships wherever they go. On the other hand, others find themselves repeating the same frustrating experiences over and over again. Naturally, most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

Over the years, I’ve met nearly every type of dater imaginable. For instance, some are optimistic, while others are completely exhausted. Furthermore, some are unintentionally sabotaging their own success, and a few are walking red flags who have absolutely no idea they’re waving them.

If you are actively dating in Los Angeles, you’ve probably encountered at least a few of these personalities already. In addition, you may even recognize yourself in one or two of them.

Therefore, if you’re curious about common frustrations we see in real dating experiences in LA, you’ll notice that many of these behavioral patterns show up repeatedly.

This list is meant to be fun, lighthearted, and perhaps a little uncomfortable at times. After all, the goal isn’t to judge anyone; rather, it’s to become more self-aware of how we show up when searching for love.

So, what kind of dater are you?

Dating In Los Angeles: The Angry Dater

First, you carry old emotional wounds into every new relationship.

Perhaps it was a painful divorce, or maybe it was a terrible breakup. Additionally, you might have spent years dating people who continuously disappointed you. Whatever the underlying reason, your past is still sitting at the table with you on every first date.

Consequently, the Angry Dater often talks about how awful men are, how terrible women are, how dating apps ruined everything, or how nobody can be trusted anymore. Even when a conversation starts positively, it somehow circles back to frustration.

The challenge is that prospective dates feel that negative energy almost immediately. What feels like self-protection to you can easily feel like bitterness to someone meeting you for the first time.

Ultimately, one bad relationship doesn’t mean the next one will end the same way. The most successful daters eventually learn how to leave old baggage where it belongs, in the past.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Butthead

You probably know exactly who you are.

For example, you disappear for days after a great date. Likewise, you don’t return calls and leave text messages unanswered. You make plans without remembering to confirm them, or you show up late while acting like it isn’t a big deal.

The Butthead isn’t necessarily a bad person. In many cases, they are charming, attractive, and socially skilled, which actually makes the behavior even more frustrating.

As a result, people around you constantly feel like an afterthought. Although you expect courtesy from others, you don’t consistently extend that same courtesy in return.

Remember that dating in Los Angeles doesn’t require perfection, but it certainly requires consideration. A little basic respect goes a long way.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Awkward Borderline Creepy Dater

You mean well, but social situations frequently feel like navigating a minefield.

Consequently, conversations stall, eye contact becomes uncomfortable, and silences stretch a little too long. Sometimes you say something completely unrelated to the discussion and wonder why your date looks confused.

Fortunately, many awkward daters are actually kind, intelligent people. Unfortunately, intense nervousness can easily come across as strange behavior.

Because you might overthink every interaction, you might stare too long or struggle to continue a conversation naturally.

However, the good news is that social confidence is a skill. I’ve seen many formerly awkward singles become successful daters once they learned how to relax and communicate comfortably.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Blame Game Dater

To this dater, nothing is ever their fault.

Your ex was the problem, your boss was the problem, or your last five dates were the problem. The Blame Game Dater always has an explanation for everything and accountability for almost nothing.

Whenever a relationship doesn’t work out, there’s always another reason why someone else failed them. Rarely do they stop to ask what role they may have played in the outcome.

Because personal growth is nearly impossible without self-reflection, this pattern creates a major obstacle when dating in Los Angeles.

Indeed, this is one of the real dating behaviors we observe in Los Angeles matchmaking clients from time to time. The individuals who improve their dating lives the fastest are usually those willing to evaluate themselves honestly.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Boring and You Make Me Sleepy Dater

You have a pulse, but somehow the date feels like it desperately needs caffeine.

The Boring Dater isn’t necessarily a boring person overall. Instead, they are usually stuck in a rigid routine and have stopped exploring new experiences.

When someone asks what you’ve been up to lately, your answer is usually some variation of work, errands, streaming shows, and sleep. Naturally, conversations feel repetitive because daily life feels repetitive.

Interesting people aren’t born interesting; rather, they become interesting because they stay curious, try new hobbies, and pursue experiences worth talking about.

Therefore, if your dates frequently feel flat, it may be time to add more variety to your lifestyle.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Animal Lover Who Treats Her Pets Like Children Dater

You adore your pets, not just a little, but a lot.

Your dog has a social media account, your cat has a birthday party, and your phone contains far more photos of your pets than actual people.

To be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with loving animals; in fact, many singles find it endearing. However, the challenge appears when every conversation returns to your pets, leaving very little space for human connection.

I’ve met wonderful singles who unintentionally built their entire world around their pets. While animal companionship is meaningful, romantic relationships still require direct engagement with other people.

So, love your pets, but remember to leave room for human partners too.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Classic Biatch

You tend to be demanding, controlling, and rarely satisfied.

Having high standards isn’t inherently a problem. However, the issue arises when nobody ever seems capable of meeting them.

The Classic Biatch tends to criticize more than compliment, complain more than appreciate, and focus on flaws rather than strengths. Servers annoy you, drivers annoy you, and dates definitely annoy you.

Consequently, people walk away from your dates feeling evaluated rather than enjoyed. While confidence is attractive, constant negativity is not. The happiest relationships usually involve gratitude, flexibility, and kindness.

Dating In Los Angeles: The I-Want-Romance-Like-In-The-Movies Dater

You believe every great love story should feel like a Hollywood script.

Specifically, you imagine chance encounters, dramatic airport reunions, perfect timing, and instant certainty. When reality doesn’t match the fantasy, disappointment inevitably follows.

The problem isn’t wanting romance; romance is wonderful. Rather, the problem is expecting real people to behave like fictional characters.

In truth, healthy relationships are built through consistency, communication, shared values, and trust. While those qualities might not make for a dramatic movie scene, they create something far more valuable: a lasting partnership.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Non-Commitment Dater

You want all the benefits of a relationship without officially naming it.

For instance, you spend weekends together, text constantly, meet each other’s friends, and act like a couple. Yet, whenever the conversation turns toward commitment or plans, you suddenly become uncomfortable.

The Non-Commitment Dater often keeps one foot in and one foot out. Sometimes it stems from fear, sometimes from uncertainty, and other times from the belief that someone better might be around the corner.

Whatever the underlying reason, remaining in relationship limbo rarely creates long-term happiness for either person involved.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Silent Type Dater

You are perfectly pleasant, kind, attractive, and thoughtful.

Unfortunately, nobody gets to discover those qualities because you give them almost nothing to work with during dates.

The Silent Type answers questions with single sentences or one-word replies. Meanwhile, your date carries the entire conversation, wondering whether you are interested, nervous, or mentally planning your grocery list.

Most silent daters aren’t disinterested; they are simply shy or cautious. However, engaging in Dating in Los Angeles requires giving the other person enough substance to form a real connection.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Talker or You Might Have Asperger’s Dater

You don’t just have conversations; you deliver complete monologues.

The Talker can turn a simple question into a thirty-minute presentation. Ask how their day was, and suddenly you’re hearing a detailed history of their commute, childhood, and thoughts on city regulations.

The biggest indicator isn’t how much you speak, but rather how little curiosity you show toward the person sitting across from you. Dates often feel like they attended a lecture instead of participating in a conversation.

Many people in this category aren’t self-centered; they are simply anxious or socially unaware. Great conversations function like a game of tennis; remember to hit the ball back occasionally!

Dating In Los Angeles: The Witty Ballbuster

You never miss an opportunity to make a clever comment.

Everything becomes a joke, a tease, or a challenge. A date begins telling a story, and before they finish the first sentence, you’ve already interrupted with a sarcastic remark or witty comeback.

For the first ten minutes, people find it entertaining. However, after an hour, it can become mentally exhausting.

The Witty Ballbuster often uses humor as emotional armor. Because constant teasing creates distance, genuine vulnerability never enters the conversation. While playful banter builds chemistry, excessive sarcasm can make dating feel like an endurance sport.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Crazy Look Dater

You walk into a room and immediately command attention.

However, the key question is whether it’s the right kind of attention. The Crazy Look Dater often hides behind an extreme appearance, such as over-the-top makeup, unusual fashion choices, or excessive accessories.

Sometimes it’s a confidence issue, while other times it’s a habit that has gone unchecked for years. Remarkably, underneath the dramatic presentation is usually a very attractive individual.

I’ve helped clients transform their dating lives with just a few small aesthetic adjustments. The goal isn’t to look like everyone else, but rather to let people see the real you before your outfit takes over.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Liar

The truth is good, but you don’t seem to think it’s good enough.

The Liar isn’t always telling massive lies. More often, they exaggerate, embellish, or strategically edit reality. You’ve almost bought the company, written the book, or traveled everywhere.

However, while authenticity is magnetic, exaggeration eventually becomes obvious. Most singles aren’t looking for perfection; they are looking for honesty. The fastest way to build trust is to stop trying so hard to impress people.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Picky Dater

You have a personal checklist so detailed it deserves its own spreadsheet.

Your ideal partner must meet specific criteria for age, height, income, education, religion, fitness, and politics. They must live within a narrow geographic radius and possess zero flaws.

Consequently, every date feels like an evaluation. The problem is that no real human can compete with a fantasy.

Many picky daters believe they are protecting themselves from mistakes, when in reality they are protecting themselves from vulnerability. This often contributes to real-world dating expectations in Los Angeles. Standards are essential, but demanding absolute perfection will stall your success.

Dating In Los Angeles: The LA Special Gold Digger Dater

Los Angeles has always attracted dreamers, but it also attracts opportunists.

The Gold Digger isn’t searching for a partner; instead, they are looking for a lifestyle upgrade. Sometimes it is obvious, while other times it is subtle.

Conversations revolve around status, luxury, income, and networking opportunities rather than personal values. Furthermore, this behavior isn’t limited to one gender; men and women alike can fall into this transactional mindset.

Ultimately, the strongest relationships are built on mutual respect and shared goals, not financial transactions.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Lazy Dater

You want a relationship, but you don’t want to put in much effort to find one.

The Lazy Dater rarely takes initiative, plans thoughtful dates, or steps outside their usual comfort zone. When romantic opportunities don’t magically appear, they become frustrated.

Ironically, many lazy daters are wonderful people who are simply waiting for love to find them instead of actively participating in the search. Finding a meaningful partnership requires consistent effort and intention.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Martyr

You spend your life taking care of everyone except yourself.

Your children, friends, family, and coworkers always come first. The Martyr is often generous to a fault, but they frequently use responsibility as a reason to postpone their own happiness.

As years pass, dating remains at the bottom of their priority list. However, prioritizing your romantic life isn’t selfish; your needs matter too.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Buddy

Everyone loves you, but nobody seems to date you.

You are dependable, supportive, and easy to talk to, yet you constantly hear: “You’re such a great friend.”

The Buddy struggles to create romantic tension because they show up as a confidant rather than a potential partner. While great relationships often begin with friendship, they also require flirtation, confidence, and mutual attraction.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Narcissistic Dater

You are magnetic and charming, but everything eventually circles back to you.

Your accomplishments, opinions, and stories dominate every interaction. While people may be impressed initially, they soon notice there is very little room left for them.

The Narcissistic Dater craves admiration but struggles with genuine emotional reciprocity. Healthy relationships aren’t built on being admired; rather, they are built on understanding and being understood in return.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Talk-Too-Much-Dater

Unlike the Talker who dominates out of ego, the Talk-Too-Much-Dater talks out of nervous anxiety.

Silence feels uncomfortable, so you fill every pause, jump between topics, and interrupt without meaning to. Meanwhile, your date searches for a chance to participate.

Most people in this category are well-intentioned. However, learning to listen quietly is one of the most attractive skills you can practice when dating in Los Angeles.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Overachiever

You’ve mastered almost every area of your life except your romantic relationships.

Your career is thriving, and your finances are organized. However, you approach dating like a corporate project, analyzing every interaction and attempting to optimize every outcome.

Unfortunately, relationships rarely respond to management tactics the way business goals do. Sometimes the best connections occur when you stop managing outcomes and simply remain present.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Sleep-With-Dates-Too-Soon-and-Often Dater

You crave emotional connection, but you sometimes confuse physical intimacy with deep attachment.

You meet someone, feel quick chemistry, and become emotionally invested before determining whether real compatibility exists. When things collapse, you are left wondering why the pattern repeats.

While physical attraction is important, problems arise when physical intimacy moves significantly faster than emotional trust. The strongest relationships develop when both grow side by side.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Can-Look-Good-With-Makeup Dater

You are a classic diamond in the rough with natural beauty and great qualities.

However, you rarely invest time into your personal presentation because you prefer comfort over fashion. While there’s nothing wrong with comfort, first impressions still matter in the dating world.

Making a few small refinements to your wardrobe or grooming can immediately boost your confidence and improve your dating outcomes.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Player

You love the thrill of the chase, but that excitement often fades once a relationship becomes serious.

The Player keeps one eye on their current partner and the other on future options. Commitment feels restrictive because you wonder if someone better is around the corner.

Ultimately, every player must decide whether they prefer short-term excitement or long-term emotional connection.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Too-Busy-To-Date-Dater

You always have a convincing excuse for why now isn’t the right time to date.

Work is demanding, family needs attention, or projects are pending. While you genuinely want love, you rarely create calendar space for it.

Realistically, people don’t find love when they happen to have spare time; rather, they find it because they choose to prioritize it.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Feel-Sorry-For-Me-Dater

Your hardships dominate early conversations.

Within thirty minutes, your date learns about your difficult childhood, painful breakup, or financial stress. While vulnerability is important, unloading heavy emotional baggage on a first date can overwhelm a new connection.

Save deeper personal stories for later, giving your date a chance to discover your qualities naturally over time.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Shallow Dater

Physical appearance is your primary filter, and little else gets your attention.

Consequently, you experience a repeating cycle of dates that look great visually but lack emotional substance. While physical attraction matters, relying solely on looks prevents deeper compatibility from forming.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Braggars

You want everyone to know you’ve achieved financial or social success.

Every conversation includes references to income, luxury purchases, or status symbols. However, excessive bragging usually signals insecurity rather than confidence. True confidence is demonstrated through humility and genuine warmth.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Shy Dater

You are thoughtful, loyal, and interesting, but you struggle to communicate comfortably with new people.

As a result, dates may mistake your nervousness for disinterest. Fortunately, social communication can be developed over time, and your natural authenticity is already a major asset when dating in Los Angeles.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Slob

You overlook grooming and presentation details, unaware of how much they influence first impressions.

A polished appearance doesn’t require designer labels; instead, it simply communicates self-respect and consideration for your date.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Sports-Aholic Dater

Your entire life revolves around game schedules, fantasy leagues, and athletic events.

While passion is attractive, relationships require dedicated room alongside your hobbies. Finding balance allows you to share your interests without overwhelming your partner.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Tough Gal

You present yourself as completely self-reliant, which can unintentionally push prospective partners away.

Guardiness built from past disappointments can prevent people from seeing your softer side. Remember that vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s the foundation of emotional intimacy.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Need To Lighten Up Dater

You approach dates like high-stakes job interviews, evaluating every word and action.

While intentionality is valuable, dating should also be enjoyable. Relaxing and allowing yourself to be present creates far better connections than searching for perfection.

Dating In Los Angeles: The Positive “Dream Come True For A Matchmaker” Dater

Every matchmaker loves working with this type of client.

The Positive Dater approaches Dating in Los Angeles with an open mind, realistic expectations, and emotional resilience. They remain kind and respectful regardless of the outcome.

Because they bring positive energy and focus on genuine connection rather than control, they consistently achieve the best long-term relationship results.

So What Kind of Dater Are You?

By now, you’ve probably recognized yourself in at least one of these categories. In truth, most people are a blend of several types depending on their current life stage and past experiences.

Although this guide was written lightheartedly, the underlying habits we bring into dating shape our real-world outcomes. Fortunately, dating styles aren’t permanent; with self-awareness, anyone can transform their approach.

A Different Way to Approach Dating

At Two Asian Matchmakers, we help high-caliber professionals navigate dating in Los Angeles with clarity and intention. If you are ready to skip the frustrating cycle of dating apps, exploring a personalized matchmaking service can help you find a meaningful relationship.

To discover how our personal process works for Southern California singles, visit our dedicated Los Angeles matchmaking page or check our Matchmaking FAQs.

For additional expert advice on relationship standards and professional ethics, explore resources certified by the Matchmaking Institute.

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